Wayne Chen
Northwest Asia Weekly
I am a climate change expert.
No, not that kind of climate change. Not the kind of climate change that’s in the news every day. Specifically, I’m talking about air conditioning, especially when it comes to travel.
Inevitably, when we get together with friends and talk about travel and everyone else talks about, say, the grandeur of the Grand Canyon, the incredible beauty of Hawaii’s beaches, or the lights of Paris, my most vivid memory is And after visiting one of the world’s most noteworthy sights, the air-conditioned comfort is incredible.
Oh sure, I’ll try to come up with some traditional anecdotes so my friends don’t look at me in complete confusion. I’d say, “You know, I didn’t know the pyramids were that high!” But deep down, I was thinking, “The airflow coming down the sixth row of the tour bus really took me by surprise.”
You might ask, “Why am I so obsessed with air conditioners?” Well, you can blame my parents.
As a kid, I spent most of my summers traveling in Asia, usually China or Taiwan. You might say that I should be grateful for how lucky I was to travel so extensively at a young age, and you’d be right. I have a lot of adventures and a lot to be thankful for.
But let me tell you the bottom line – the summer heat in Asia is unbearable. Imagine walking around Las Vegas in mid-July, but when you’re asked to drink a piping hot cup of tea, you have to walk around wrapped in a hot, smoking towel – just that hot .
My most memorable trip was in the 1980s, and this time, it wasn’t with my parents. As many Chinese American youths are familiar with, my parents sent me on a love boat.
For those unfamiliar with “Love Boat,” it’s a summer trip that takes Chinese-American teens to China for Chinese classes and part of their ancestral history in China. You learn about Chinese history and improve your Chinese. This is what it should be.
For a group of 16-year-olds, it was more of a hormone-driven free date. Don’t forget, in Beijing in mid-August, we were already sweltering, and we were still wrapped in smoking hot towels. We’re basically walking the tinderbox. I’ve heard stories of students burning themselves on hot afternoons.
But back to the air conditioner.
At this point I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I did visit the Great Wall during my summer stay in Beijing. It’s an amazing sight. I’ll give more details, but I didn’t see that much after 45 minutes of climbing some steep stairs on the wall in the heat of the day. I spent the day enjoying myself in the cool air-conditioned confines of the tour bus.
When we got back to campus, it wasn’t much better. The five of us lived in a small dorm with inconspicuous tiny windows, mosquito nets hung over every bed to keep us from being eaten alive, and most importantly, no air conditioning.
In fact, the only air-conditioned places on campus are the classrooms, and we spend several hours a day in Chinese classes. I remember going through Mandarin pronunciation training, but I remember the gentle hum of the air conditioner as it quickly turned my hormonal fever into something more manageable.
One night, after another mosquito-infested dragon fever night, I started talking to one of my roommates, Jeremy, and we came up with a brilliant idea. If we don’t have air conditioning in our dorm, why don’t we try sneaking into the classroom and sleeping in an air-conditioned place?
So, late that night, we crept out of the hot summer dormitory and walked quietly to the teaching building. When we got to the classroom, we immediately found that the door was locked. But as resourceful, air-conditioned students, we noticed that the transom window above the door was slightly open. I managed to get Jeremy up so he could climb into the classroom and open the door. Voila! Nirvana!
We were even more fortunate that the classrooms had adjoining bathrooms and showers.
So not only do we fall asleep in climate-controlled bliss, but we also take a shower. We each took a shower and with the bedding we brought, Jeremy and I lay in our makeshift bed, giggling at our ingenuity like school girls.
think about it! All of our ignorant, stupid classmates suffocated in their dorm-like fires while Jeremy and I spent our nights in our luxurious air-conditioned fortress. We are the kings of the palace!
until…
It starts slowly. I feel a tingling sensation in my feet. Soon, my feet felt like they were on pins and needles. Then, all of a sudden, my feet felt like they were on fire. I started tossing frantically back and forth under the sheets.
At one point, I turned frantically at Jeremy and yelled, “Jeremy! What’s wrong with my foot!?!” I quickly found out that he was going through the same thing.
Apparently the cleaning crew spilled some disinfectant in the shower and that’s where the burn was.
I just appreciate that the bathroom has a shower instead of a bathtub.
I don’t even want to think about what else might be burning.
Wayne can reach info@nwasianweekly.com.
