I am a lifelong dog lover, dog girl, dog woman, all of that. I have never seen myself own a cat.
Our little black cat Sabrina has been living with us for about six months. She is about a year old. I still have a few things to figure out about her. She is more different than a dog I imagined.
1. Cats are not responsible for their actions
This has always confused me. When cats “misbehave,” their guardians don’t get mad at them, and they usually don’t really seek behavior training techniques. They just said… “Oh, he’s just a cat. Little bastard!”
I try to give Sabrina as much vertical space as possible in our one bedroom apartment. But there are places where I can’t let her in.
With dogs, I say, “Let it go!” If there is immediate danger, I go and catch them. Most of the time my dogs stop what they are doing and come to me.
With Sabrina, I would tell her “leave!” and she just…looks at me. But when I go to move her, she jumps off because she kind of realizes she’s not allowed into that area. I applaud and encourage this, hopefully with more practice she’ll jump when I say “close”, but now it seems like she’s pausing to decide if it’s worth trying to get her way.
I try to remember to give her a treat when she jumps out of the box, even if she doesn’t comply right away. Maybe she’ll hear better over time, but I can accept her being herself, not the dog.
We tend to feel offended when we dog people tell our dogs to do something and they don’t listen. This is what cat people have always done right.
When any animal, cat or dog doesn’t listen, there’s no reason to take it personally, even if we believe they know better. It just means we need more training, more clarity, more reinforcement, and more rewards.
2. Cats don’t always like pets
I know I can go to Cow, she’s currently napping in the open crate, give her hugs and kisses, and she’ll wake up and be very happy about it.
But if Sabrina was in a naughty hunting mood, she would attack my hand when I tried to touch her.
Or if she’s napping, she doesn’t seem to like being woken by pets.
However, I sometimes make her grunt if she’s drowsy but not sleeping.
I still don’t have a solid understanding of how and when to pet cats, and I have poor impulse control.
The thing is, dogs don’t always like pets, either. They’re just unlikely to let us know. However, if you give your dog a big hug and then they let go, it’s a sign that they’re actually a little stressed.
I’m trying to learn to have this impulse control not only with cats, but dogs as well. I try to remember to stop when petting my dog so they can make it clear if they want me to stop or continue. Eight years together, me, Matilda and Cow have a great relationship and seem to really know each other, but I think we can always do better.
3. Cats actually say hello (sometimes)
One of the reasons I never wanted a cat is because I love that after a hard day, you can come home and know your dog will be waiting, rocking like crazy like you’ve been away for years.
When Sabrina is happy to see our favorite human, she sometimes goes through our legs and rubs us. She also does this when she’s hungry, but sometimes it happens when she has food in her bowl, so it must mean she likes us.
4. Cats don’t really hate dogs
Matilda and Cow still don’t know what to do with Sabrina, but they respect her. They chased her, but not as often, and I can see that they didn’t actually touch her when that happened. They just don’t know how to interact with her.
Sabrina gets scared when they try to interact with Sabrina, even if they’re just passing through a tight space. She might run away from them, or stand her ground and strike. But she stopped hissing at them.
Every day she seems more comfortable around them, the dog is fascinated, but leaves her alone most of the time. Of course they’re always supervised and they’re in different rooms when I can’t watch them.
Still, Sabrina often walks up to the dogs, smells them, and even stares at them while they sleep. She seems to be fascinated by them too. There is drama in our family, but it’s not hatred, it’s just misunderstanding.
At one point, Sabrina walked up to the cow, patted her butt, and ran off, completely confusing the cow. I think it was in those moments that she settled on the role of her hated little sister.
I achieved my goal of having my three animals in the same room most of the time without fear of violence, injuries, or even tense confrontations. Enjoying different spaces, watching squirrels out of the window together, and basking in the sun with healthy social distancing, they coexist with little drama.
Now, I’m dying to see them huddled together, but that’s definitely not realistic at this point. If my animals ever cuddled, it would be the ultimate cuteness overload.
