I’ve been thinking about successful ideas lately. Who else? Do you have a clear idea of what it means in your mind? My definition of success used to be this: work hard, get good grades, play sports, win, get a good job (and health insurance of course), make money, get promoted, climb the corporate ladder, etc. Then I quit my corporate job and ditched everything I thought was important (professional) to pursue something new, to blog. Soon I will redefine success and it will look like this: increase readership, partner with bigger brands, gain more followers, increase revenue, increase engagement, create better content, never stop working , busy, etc.
There is a pattern. For me, success is always driven by numbers, stats on a piece of paper, check boxes. I looked at it through a narrow lens and it made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough. The way I define success makes the whole concept impossible. I’ll get there (or I won’t), either way, I feel like I need more. until I reach my tipping point.
That was about a year ago. I’m wrapping up my first year as a parent, a year of going through a pandemic, my dog dying, and it’s the end of the Trump administration. The mental and emotional cost is enormous. During the election cycle, when I was in a vulnerable postpartum phase, the constant harassment against me pushed me to the brink. I’m not in a good place. I ended up being hospitalized with a migraine so severe that I couldn’t walk or open my eyes.
I’m lucky to have a great support system to help me take a step back. I tried very hard to get back to a life that no longer existed. The end of 2020 and the beginning of 2021 broke me down and forced me to seriously rethink how I view my success.
I realize how I define success is entirely up to me. It may sound obvious, but the vast amount of information we subconsciously and explicitly receive and consume in society tells us that success looks like money, power, and recognition. I know these aren’t the only things that matter in life, but it taught me how to measure my success over the years.
Redefining success changes everything. Like making time for myself, prioritizing my mental health, and setting boundaries. be yourself. Take a break from get off work to do something fun, ask your girlfriend for coffee. Develop myself, my relationships, my hobbies, work hard, but don’t compromise everything else in my life. Kind and generous. Say no. fail and accept it. Make good use of my influence. Not worrying about being the best mom I can be, but doing my best to be a mom. Recognize that success doesn’t mean balancing all of these things perfectly. That’s not to say I haven’t done these things before, but I don’t see them as a measure of success.
Success is subjective, perspective is key. Do my best to align my life with my values and know that I can change my thinking or approach. It recognizes that I am the one in control of my life. This is because I know I don’t need more followers on Instagram or viral TikTok. The beauty of defining my own version of success is knowing the things that don’t make me happy or fulfilled. Maybe this is the best lesson.
