“Now is the time for parents to teach young people the beauty and strength of diversity.”
Maya Angelo
If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s how incredibly resilient children are. Watching them go through these challenging times is inspiring and often more gracious than adults. That’s what makes kids so amazing. They are open-minded, positive, and incredibly malleable.
Over the past decade, parenting methods have shifted from authoritarian to more authoritative. Rather than being told what to do and how to behave, talk to your child like an adult, ask for their opinion and deal with their thoughts equally. It gives the child more voice and a sense of confidence and acceptance. In many ways, it fosters the development of children who will become trailblazers and it is important to know their thoughts and opinions. So how do we parent, in a culture that encourages us to treat our children as equals, while also providing boundaries and structure?
By helping our children develop a growth mindset, we can develop children who are resilient, confident, and unafraid of failure. A growth mindset is when we believe that our intelligence and abilities can improve over time. It’s all about making our kids make mistakes and praising effort rather than results.
As an educator, parent, and social-emotional advocate, my approach is a balance between authoritative and authoritative approaches. Children need boundaries and structure to thrive. Navigating this vast world can be challenging as their brains develop. It is important to talk to our children and teach them the skills to be kind, compassionate, hard-working, enthusiastic and confident people. It is also important to give them the space and freedom to explore the world on their own. As a parent, this can be too difficult. We want to protect our children, but our job as parents is to help them learn to navigate tough situations and have the skills to protect themselves. Children are often far more capable than we think.
A friend and teacher gave her students an amazing Growth Mindset class.she uses James Nottingham’s Learning Pit Model Show what happens when we get stuck and how we solve it. This is a very useful visual for kids who feel lonely in this experience.
The key to building courage and a growth mindset in our children is actually a lot simpler than we think – do less. The goal is to strike a healthy balance between loving, supporting, teaching and encouraging your child and letting them discover things for themselves. A growth mindset builds resilience and confidence. It encourages children to accept challenges rather than avoid them.
Tips for Helping Children Develop a Growth Mindset
- It’s okay to be wrong
- “Mistakes Made My Brian Grow” Teachings from Carol Dweck
- Instead of trying to solve the problem for them, ask “Is there any other way we can solve this problem?”
- Put praise on the effort “You really work hard” instead of the fixed “Good job!”
- Praise be specific. Instead of saying “You’re so smart,” try “You should be proud of your efforts. It’s reflected in your work.”
- Allow for failure and help understand that things don’t always go according to plan
In a recent interview with NPR with children’s author Kate DiCamillo she Discusses her thoughts on writing stories for children that show both love and heartbreak. She was once asked by a fellow writer, “How honest can a writer be with an auditorium full of schoolchildren? How honest should we be with our readers? Is the writer’s job to tell the truth or to maintain innocence?‘ she replied You can read the beautiful letter here. She continues to discuss the impact Charlotte’s Web The children are not only for beautiful characters, love and friendship, but also heartbreak at the end. She wrote, “How do we tell the truth and make the truth acceptable?She continued, “The only answer I can think of is love. EB White loves the world. In loving the world, he spoke the truth – its sadness, its heartbreak, its devastating beauty. He trusted his readers enough to tell them the truth, and the truth brought comfort and a sense that we were not alone.
I think there are parallels between DiCamillo’s writing goals and what we can do for kids. Parenting is hard, and we try our best. once a day. Our children are more independent, smarter and more capable than we think. Let’s help them find their spark and give them space for the world to see their brightest.
Have you considered a growth mindset approach? What works best for developing a child’s courage and growth mindset? Let us know in the comments below!
Resources for building courage and a growth mindset:
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