“At the age of 50, I wrote a series of best-selling pornographic novels”

I am the mother of three adult sons. At the beginning of 2020, I am setting up a recruitment company to help people over 50 return to work. Then, Britain entered a state of lockdown and everything stopped. I don’t know what I am going to do to myself. I have two sons coming home from college, and one is going to school at home, and business has become unviable. You can feel the tension in the air, and no one knows what will happen.

I know I have to do something to enrich myself, make myself laugh and relieve some anxiety. I looked at my options; I don’t know how to cook, and if I try to exercise online, I think I will be dislocated. Then I read a few lines of Fifty Shades of Gray. I have never read it or any pornographic novel before. I remember that I think women are not like that. We grabbed the tights, tripped on the heels, and when you reached my 50s, you were dealing with hot flashes and hairy jaws.

I have always wanted to write, and it suddenly occurred to me that I could perform a truly different interpretation of pornographic novels. You can have an ordinary, everyday, cellulite and curly-haired woman instead of your classic, disheveled-haired heroine.

So I have this choice. I either bake banana bread or write an interesting and dirty book. So, I wrote an interesting and dirty book about a woman’s mission to turn herself into an erotic goddess, but everything she did was completely wrong.

I published my first book in June 2020, and when I wrote my first sex scene, I cringed and laughed. I do feel a little embarrassed, but I know what will happen at the end of the scene, so somehow make things easier. I haven’t really read any pornography, so I don’t know how explicit these books are. But to me, they are very rude. Although the sex scene itself is short, there is a lot of accumulation of orgasm.

Ann is my heroine. She has always lived an ordinary love life. She likes Victorian romantic novels. She realized that they were beautiful, but lacked something, so she started to read erotica and decided to turn herself into an erotic goddess. This book follows her journey.

I used a pseudonym, SJ Carmine, because if people think this book is bad, I don’t need to admit it is me. But within a few months after the first book was published, I received messages from women, thanking me, saying that I made them laugh, or that it was the first book they read in a long time, and they liked them very much. Started to read and read again, so I have to admit that it was me.

Only 8 months later, I sold more than 1,000 copies, which is great for my own published book. I have a lot of ideas, so I started my second book in August 2020, and a third book a few months later. There are five books in this series, and when I published them, people sent me messages asking me what happened next and told me what they wanted to happen. I have sold about 3,000 books in total.

My book is not Dostoevsky, but if it allows women to read and talk, then I am proud of it.First book entry Amazon Within a few months, I was on the bestseller list of British erotic and humorous novels. Since then, my book has been ranked first on the bestseller list. It goes up and down, a book may be at number 21 in one minute, and they are all at the top of the chart the next day. Is excited.

My friends knew right away that I had written an erotic novel and thought it was interesting, but I didn’t tell my family. My sons now know that I wrote these books, but apparently they haven’t read them. They are 22, 20 and 16 years old, so, to the same extent, they are really proud and completely ashamed. My husband thinks it is very interesting. He has never read them because he is not a reader, but he is very proud. He tells everyone about books, usually when we are in the grocery store, which is a bit awkward.

I didn’t make a lot of money, but I was encouraged to keep going. Maybe someday publishers may encounter these books. I have been to a literary agent, but they want a story that resonates throughout the age. There are two words c*** and a** in my first paragraph. But I have obviously dug into things that women like. I think this is because they think this role is relevant. She is really struggling, she is really just “us”.

Writing a series of erotic novels makes me more confident because I am really proud to be able to oppose the stereotype of age. I want to grow old shamelessly, and I am glad that I did something unexpected. For me, it doesn’t matter whether you are 22 or 82 years old to women. It’s really important, don’t let age become a barrier. Go ahead and don’t let anyone tell you you can’t.

I want to continue writing, I have some new ideas, but I’m not sure they will be erotic. I have tried my best to accept Ann, unless I want to bring her into her 70s and ask her to create an OnlyFans account! I have had people who have read hardcore porn say that I don’t know enough about sex, but I won’t write any hardcore porn in the future.

I am really proud that I make women laugh during difficult times and encourage them to read. This makes it worthwhile. This is the best feeling, isn’t it? Make others happy.

Stephanie Oram lives in the UK and writes under the pseudonym SJ Carmine.you can Learn more about her own published books and order copies here.

All views expressed in this article are the author’s own views.

As told to Jenny Howard.