I always wanted to be a doctor, I didn’t really think about other things. But I didn’t really fall in love with obstetrics and gynecology until I started to rotate during medical school. I especially like helping other women and people with uterus. Historically, even now, women are often marginalized, especially in the doctor’s office, where they do not always feel that they have a say.
I have been an Obstetrician and Gynecologist (OB-GYN) for 10 years, so when someone comes to see me for an annual check-up and talk about their menstruation, it’s like opening a Pandora’s Box. When I asked about sex, there was usually a pause, so I asked if it was painful, and they told me it was a painful experience. I think there is a culture where people don’t know how to get information and are usually only taught how to not get pregnant. Lack of education and a lot of shame. People will say, “I know I shouldn’t have sex, but…” or, “I actually like anal sex, can I?”
When I saw a woman insert a catheter in the bladder, many people said, “If there is, how can the baby come out?” They don’t know that the urethra and vagina are separated. Not because they are not smart. This is because we often put these topics in a box that shouldn’t be talked about. Especially in the United States, only sex education about abstinence is often taught.
I don’t just see 16-year-olds asking these questions, it spans all age groups, which is sad. I see this in women in their 30s and 40s, women who have given birth, and even women in their 50s and 60s who raise their daughters. They heard me talk about a topic and asked why no one provided them with this information.
Being a female health doctor can also be truly isolated and lonely. You carry too many people’s stories, and in obstetrics and gynecology, everyone thinks your story is happy-unfortunately they are not.I started to pay attention to my other doctors’ mothers Instagram The account and us are just related to each other. Then I saw how they used their platform in a professional way, and the spark went out.
I can only do so much to the people in front of me, but everyone spends a lot of time on their phones, so I started to wonder if I can use social media to educate people in a relevant way. There is a view that doctors are terrible, we don’t listen, or we are condescending. I want to show people that I am like them. And, thanks to my advocacy training, I can speak out and advocate for birth control or abortion services.
I jumped to TikTok very reluctantly in 2019, just because of a colleague’s suggestion. But it has become another way to use my medical degree for education. It allows me to explain things and show people that it is not shameful to say the words vagina and vulva on social media. We have ads about Viagra and erectile dysfunction, why can’t we talk about vaginismus and vulvar pain?
My first video on TikTok was me pointing to questions about sex and sexual health and answering yes or no. It got 1 million views overnight and now has 6.4 million views, so I thought maybe I have something. The response is mainly to thank me, people say they need and want this information.
The videos with the most views are often the ones where I break myths related to birth control or talk about products that I think are good or bad. I also post videos about going to obstetrics and gynecology like me that you may not know. I think for many people, seeing an obstetrician and gynecologist feels like a terrible secret experience, and people are eager to know what it will look like.
The most common questions I get about sex from women are, “Why is it so painful?” or “What did I do wrong?” This makes me sad-women have an inner thought that if sex hurts, it is Our fault. The second most common question is about sexual desire. I have received a lot of information from very desperate women, saying that their sex drive is low and no one listens to them. They asked if they were allowed to discuss the matter with the obstetrician and gynecologist. People don’t know where to go for help. The third common question about sex is for people who want to know if they are pregnant. I have to say, “My friend, I can’t tell you online if you are pregnant.”
The idea of the video may come from people tagging me in a video about a certain topic, or I may get the same question over and over again, such as a C-section. Other times I may wonder why no one talks publicly about a topic-such as menstrual poverty or pubic hair care. Recently, I was marked in a video in which a lady talked about menstrual pain is abnormal and that your menstrual period should not be bad. I think everyone knows that if you die from menstrual pain, it is abnormal. So I made a video response, saying that this woman is right, if you feel pain, you should see a doctor. I have had more than 390,000 views and 1,400 comments. People have asked questions, saying they think the pain is normal, and their doctors have not listened to them. To me, this is crazy. Why do we want to normalize menstrual pain?
Irene Forting Photography
Sometimes I receive comments from men, “Why do I have this on my “For You” page?” My answer is, “Welcome to Vagina Toke!” Some men are really confused, but many think this Very cool. I did create some content specifically for non-womb owners, explaining what they need to know about menstruation and normal conditions. But in my opinion, the content I produce is for everyone. Sex education opportunities should not be based on your gender. I am a boy’s mother. If they end up with a female partner, I hope they know what is normal and what is abnormal.
But I do think it’s really dangerous to just get information from social media. It is difficult to understand the nuances of science on these platforms. Also, it is important to remember that just because someone is wearing a white coat or has a “PhD” in their social media handle does not mean they are a doctor. If someone tries to sell you something, be sure to treat that information carefully. For example, if someone tells you that birth control makes your menstrual period scary, and they are trying to sell you a supplement to improve the situation, then they are playing a game and they are not objective. When people question me, I welcome it. I told them not to believe me, but to check the medical references I listed. I also recommend that they obtain this information and discuss it with their doctor. Social media should never replace the actual doctor-patient relationship.
As a creator, I did get paid from TikTok’s #LearnonTikTok Education Fund, but I was not told what to post and what to share is up to me. I occasionally make directly sponsored posts for products, but I turned down 9/10 companies that approached me because they were sketchy. I clearly disclose any sponsored posts and only promote what I believe. As a doctor, I have higher demands on myself than “influencers”. I have taken the Oath of Hippocrates.
People ask me where I will see myself in 10 years. I hope that by then, I will not be on social media because sex education is taught in a comprehensive and medically accurate way at school. I hope parents are taught how to conduct these conversations and understand that when your daughter asks about her menstruation, it is not a shame. I am willing to be an irrelevant person. My dream is that everyone in the United States-we do not currently have universal health care-have access to obstetricians and gynecologists or reproductive doctors, and they can talk to them about sexual health at any time.
Jennifer Lincoln, MD, IBCLC is an obstetrician and gynecologist based in Portland, Oregon.Her book Let’s talk about there: the obstetrician and gynecologist can answer all your urgent questions without embarrassing you, you can book here. You can follow Dr. Lincoln on TikTok @drjenniferlincoln.
All views expressed in this article are the author’s own views.
As told to Jenny Howard.
