About a year ago, I started to really reflect on my relationship with alcohol. It’s incredible how much becoming a new parent can change your perspective and life priorities. I started drinking socially in high school and continued through college. While my drinking felt normal, in retrospect I can see how unhealthy it was and how things played out over time. It started with weekend binge drinking, and then in my 20s I also started having a drink or two most weeknights.
When I got pregnant, it was the first time in my teens that I was awake for an extended period of time. While a lot was going on with my body, I could feel that I was missing the booze and it dawned on me that maybe my drinking habits weren’t healthy. After giving birth to my son, I slowly started drinking again and found myself often relying on that glass of wine to unwind at the end of the day. Alarm bells were going off in my head and I knew my relationship with alcohol was not healthy. A year after becoming a mother, my anxiety and chronic pain were at an all-time high. Something needs to change and I can feel something deep inside me saying, “It’s the alcohol”. I can’t blame alcohol for all of this, but it’s definitely at the root of many of my biggest challenges in life.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned about drinking is the connection between my drinking and the extreme anxiety I was struggling with. I was diagnosed with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) in my 20s, but I’ve suffered from it my whole life. For those who suffer from anxiety, alcohol is said to be the root cause, unfortunately it only exacerbates the anxiety. Unfortunately, when GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) is depleted, the same chemical that can cause the relaxing effects of alcohol that many of us crave can also trigger the less appealing feelings of tension and panic. Alcohol may initially feel like it helps reduce your anxiety, but over time the sedative effect will only exacerbate it.
Last spring, I went on a 30-day alcohol detox with my sister and mom. It was an eye-opening experience for all of us. When you have nothing to cover your discomfort with, we feel the longing and the strong emotions. After 30 days of sobriety, I feel like my perspective on alcohol has shifted. I’m not sober now, but I feel like I’m more mindful of my drinking and control. I no longer feel controlled by alcohol, I feel like I can have a drink or two now and then without the guilt, shame and anxiety I used to feel. This is something I need to continue to evaluate and realize, but overall this transition has brought me so much clarity, freedom and joy.
What is alcohol?
Alcohol is a complex substance. We often forget that it is a drug and it can be deadly and dangerous. While other drugs are taboo for their addictive and lethal nature, alcohol is often normalized in the media and in our society as a fun way to socialize and relax. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, which means it slows down certain parts of the brain and impairs a person’s function. This is why drunk driving is so dangerous. It’s also often why alcohol can cause people to fight physically and verbally, and make decisions they wouldn’t normally make. Although alcohol initially has a relaxing effect, which many people seek on a daily basis, it can also lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, and digestive problems. Alcohol consumption has also been linked to cancer, a weakened immune system, and learning and memory problems. Alcohol consumption kills 140,000 people a year in the U.S., study says.
Just last week, Canada announced changes to its drinking guidelines, from no more than 10 drinks a week for men and 15 drinks a week for women to two drinks a week. Although their overall message is that no amount of alcohol consumption is healthy or advised against. The suggested changes are quite different from the latter, leaving you wondering why 15 drinks a week is okay?
The US recommends no more than two drinks per day for men (14 drinks per week) and one drink per day for women (7 drinks per week), while Australia recommends no more than 10 drinks per week and four drinks per day. The UK recommends no more than 6 drinks per week.
waking curiosity exercise
A new generation of “sober curious” millennials and Gen Z are taking responsible drinking by storm across the globe, a far cry from what Baby Boomers and Gen X experienced. This past New Year’s Eve, was a sober NYE televised event. Drinkers known as ‘sober curiosity’ surge after Ruby Warrington’s book sober curiosity Introduced in 2018, the movement has since grown in popularity. The term “sober curiosity” was coined by Warrington, which has started a movement to support more awareness and awareness about drinking and to promote sobriety for personal and health reasons, but not enforce it.
For those of you who feel like you might have a more serious problem, maybe “dry January” won’t solve all your problems. In this article from The Cut, Hear Me Out: Don’t Stay Sober on January 1stAna Marie Cox shares her thoughts on why January’s dry booze trend isn’t always the most effective solution to drinking.
Not sure if you have a drinking problem? Maybe consider these tips:
- why are you drinking
- when do you drink
- Can you go long without alcohol? Will it be challenging? Why?
- How did your relationship with alcohol begin?
- How does alcohol make you feel when you drink it?
- How does alcohol make you feel the next day? Does it affect you after a few days?
- Is there anything in your life that you are struggling with but could improve without drinking?
If you are struggling with alcohol and need someone to talk to or help you decide on next steps, you can contact SAMHA’s National Hotline Phone: 1-800-662-Help (4357). Know that you are not alone and that there is someone out there to help.
Resources for the soberly curious:
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