by Stacey Nguyen
Northwest Asia Weekly
In terms of style, swag and things in general, these things are going through quite a revival. (These refer to the 2000s. I only recently learned of this and thought it sounded odd to try and use in this column.)
My early adulthood happened in aughts, so seeing what I’ve been through suddenly being brought into focus by Gen Z in a quaint retro way makes me feel old.
This might be something Vin Diesel can relate to…
Vin Diesel ousts ‘Fast X’ director Justin Lin because Diesel can’t accept his own death
Vin Diesel often impresses me as a super insecure guy who sometimes overcompensates for his insignificance by being too masculine. Like, his work outside of the Fast and Furious movies isn’t well known — and the long-running franchise is closing down after its 10th and final installment, Fast X . (Got it? Close the door?)
After that, Diesel would be just a super-rich male ex-action star fast into his 60s. When you’ve always been known for your on-screen physical feats, it must be hard to fight aging, right?
It must be, because Diesel has been acting like a B to the point that he had longtime Fast and Furious director Justin Lin resign outright a few weeks ago, arguing that the film wasn’t worthy of his mental health. The Hollywood Reporter said Diesel, who is also a producer on the upcoming film, was basically a pompous bastard, and Lin was over.
It was said that walking away would cost him $10-20 million! Wow! His parents must be very disappointed in him!
Good for him! It must be hard to linger in Diesel’s delusions all day every day.
Ali Wong and Justin Hakuta Divorce…?
Marriage is hard. I say this as someone who has never been married. But I’ve met unhappy married people, and sometimes they say, “Never get married, Stacey.” And I’m like, “Okay! But I’m not restrained, because you told me! I’m going to restrain myself. , because this is already the trajectory of my life!”
I remember my observation while listening to Ali Wong’s memoir-slash-audiobook Dear Girl: Intimate Stories, Untold Secrets, and Advice for Living Your Best Life. The observation is that whenever the topic comes up in her book, Wong seems inconsistently focused on or obsessed with marriage without giving a meaningful logic (to me).
I obviously don’t know her, but it makes me wonder how many of us grew up being told we want something and need to do something – so much so that we just go with the flow – just for the next few days Over the years, I slowly realized that we were too young to know what we needed.
Because of this thought, I would like to congratulate Huang and Bai Tian on the years together and the family they built, and how difficult it can be to make a decision to change things. I wish them happiness in the future.
Cancel all your weekend plans. “Bling Empire” returns on May 13th!
Photo courtesy of Netflix
When Bling Empire premieres on Netflix in early 2021, it’s this wonderful air of over-the-top, somewhat superficial, wonderfully dramatic air just what I need when I’m alone in my dark lair because of the pandemic. It’s this window into another universe, where Asians with astonishing wealth — and a handsome guy named Kevin — are able to hang out with each other, leave their homes, and breathe each other’s breaths on private jets.
I like it for what it is: really wealthy Asians buy a bunch of stuff they don’t need while getting caught up in a microcosm of their own “problems” that they could easily fix if they were better at communicating directly .
Here are the questions I want to answer in Season 2:
Based on the way he treats women, is Kelly still in an abusive relationship with a Power Rangers who may have had a contentious relationship with his father?
Is Christine still letting her in-laws control her womb?
Would Kim throw another penis pump out the window and then be bad at apologizing for it?
Will Anna admit that her family’s wealth is built on the blood of countless people?
Vietnamese corpses, or what?
Seekers want to know! May 13. Mark your calendar.
(Also, I’ve googled it. No word on “Ho House” getting a second season.)
OMG Pre-Order Your BTS Tamagotchi ASAP
I feel like I’m just planning your life through this column right now.
You’ll need to pre-order the $19.99 BTS Tamagotchi ASAP, even if you won’t receive it until October. It might sell out and then you’ll look like a fool this winter – a fool I say! – When all your friends have TinyTan characters (cute little animated BTS members) in their pockets and all of you have lint and maybe a pile of fat inside you.
You should already know this, but for the kids: Tamogotchis are late 90s/early 2000s Japanese toys featuring digital pets you feed and love so they don’t die. They are the entry point for Asian kids to have pets (unfortunately no hugs IRL). Asian parents love them because it doesn’t leave soft poo clumps on the carpet.
I know what you’re thinking:
“Will BTS members die in the new Tamagotchi?”
I do not know. But I will find out for us. I’ll let you know later this year in October.
Stacy Nguyen can be contacted at stacy@nwasianweekly.com.
