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How to be Unhappy-Advanced #10-Italian Podcast

Hi everyone, and welcome to the Italian Podcast.
Welcome to this high-level plot. Before we start, I want to remind you that you can find the transcript of this episode on, where you can also find the English translations of the most difficult words and expressions. let’s start!
As i told you in the past An episode of reflections without transcription I am not a Avid reader (Avid reader) book of. However, from time to time I read books that have a major impact on my way of thinking. Just right I (I happen to) Read more non-fiction literature. Just these few days, I re-read a book that I read a few years ago, and I like it very much. This book was called “How to be miserable: 40 strategies you have already used” by psychologist Randy J. Paterson.That’s right: this book is short but full of creativity Illuminate (Eye-opener), Explains in a sarcastic way not how happy, but, at least on the surface, how unhappy.At this overthrow (Reverse) Typical self-help book model Yes (In this sta = there) This article is cleverly ironic.Overall, this book represents a true imitation In a humorous way (=humor, humor) A book that promises happiness. Obviously no one, But abnormalOh (As perverted as possible), Never set yourself as a goal (Never set goals for yourself) Realize the unhappiness in life. However, reading this book makes it easy to realize all the actions we take, which are usually highly related to unhappy lives.By doing the opposite of what the author suggests, we will be able to Alleviate (Reduce/Reduce) The unhappiness in our lives is definitely a bigger goal Within reach (Within our range) Compared to the pursuit of happiness, that Fleeting (Transitory) And out of reach.As mentioned earlier, some books try to teach us simple ways to achieve happiness abundant (= many)By Shelf (Shelf) From the “self-help” columns of many libraries, from the number of theme seminars, and from the number of theme scientific researches, our society attaches great importance to the pursuit of happiness. Unfortunately, as Randy J. Paterson clearly pointed out, happiness is an illusion. On the contrary, Patterson said in his book that obsessively seeking happiness is one of the best ways to achieve unhappiness.The author explains that happiness is a bit like Scojatolo (Squirrel): If you try catch him (Grab) He will run away, but if you stand still, he may come to you. On the other hand, the road to misfortune, Its outline is clearer (More clearly outlined) And there are many strategies to achieve it. Patterson explained that there may be two reasons for being unhappy. He is divided into column A and column B. Column A consists of events beyond our control (e.g. tumors, natural tragedies). On the other hand, column B contains behaviors under our control, and, If implemented (If executed), They can help our lives get worse. Patterson has identified as many as 40 strategies that can be used to maximize sadness in our lives. Among them, As the subtitle says (As stated in the subtitle), We have already used. I can assure you, just like what happened to me, You will find yourself in (You will agree and see yourself) At least in some of these strategies.
This book consists of four parts, each part contains 10 strategies.

  • How to adopt an unhappy lifestyle
  • How to think like an unhappy person
  • How to fail in human relationships
  • How to live a meaningless life

The four parts of this book are In descending order of importance (In descending order of importance)In other words, the top 10 strategies related to unhappy lifestyles are the most effective. Why is this atypical decision?This is one of the ways Patterson makes fun of self-help books on the pursuit of happiness, which began in softly (quietly) And only reached the climax in the ending, which contains the most important lesson in the entire book.On the other hand, Patterson gave the most important information at the beginning, and I think this is a Considerable choice (Great choice).

We have 10 strategies related to lifestyle In place (Attuare = execute, execute) Almost everyone in life: avoid any type of exercise, eat everything we see in ads, sleep as little as possible, use drugs (including alcohol), maximize screen time, go shopping Unfettered (No brake/uncontrolled, unconstrained) (Especially when we can’t afford it), go all out Al Work etc.
But the remaining thirty strategies also provide us with valuable Thoughtful (Thinking about it)The author suggests that, among other things, Carefully considered (Do not worry, ruminate) Think about the wrong choices made in the past, think about all the ways that might go wrong in the future, think about how beautiful our lives will become if we make different choices, pay attention to the negative aspects of a person’s life, and ignore all the positive aspects. Pursue perfection at all costs, build friendship or bond of love with the imaginary person we see in another person, not a real person, never reject other people’s requirements, always want to know the deep motivation behind other people’s words, and , As mentioned earlier, set the goal of achieving happiness in any way.
Obviously I can’t tell you every Countless (A lot of) The book contains ideas, but I will tell you some ideas that impressed me in particular.One of them involves the concept Self-esteem (Self-esteem)Since knowing how to do something well, such as knowing how to change the oil in a car, self-esteem must be separated from safety.Self-esteem is regarded by society as a vague and amorphous concept, namely Cover all aspects (Cover all aspects) A person, you have it or not (but you can develop it, for example by repeating the magical “positive affirmation”). According to the author, self-esteem does not exist at all. On the other hand, self-loathing is very real.
An insecure person will critically analyze what he thinks he has done wrong, what he wears, how he walks, how he speaks, what he says, his appearance, etc.On the other hand, confident people hardly think: “How well I dress, everyone will admire me. Do we want to talk about my safe walking? My deep voice and convincing (Soothing, full-bodied)? How do I pick up a dropped quill safely?How to I pack and shop (Pack the groceries) Sure? “. A confident person will never consider the many problems that an insecure person will encounter. Trying to create and develop self-esteem, this concept is also Unreal (Misleading, deceiving), So it is a futile mission (a bit like the pursuit of happiness), on the contrary, due to its ambiguity, we are unhappy. It is much easier to try to identify and eliminate our contempt for ourselves.
Another lesson I particularly like is included in this chapter
Measure up and measure down. A very effective way to become unhappy is to compare ourselves with people who are better, capable, successful, and capable than us in all aspects of our lives. For example, at a party, we must try to compare our dress code with the dress code of people who dress very expensively. Designer clothing (Famous brand clothing), Our understanding of the Middle East situation and university professors’ understanding of every detail of the subject and our guitar skills and Eric Clapton, who was on duty at the party, forgot that maybe we play the guitar better than the average expert professor. The fashionistas in designer clothes know more about the Middle East, and we dress better than Eric Clapton.We need to feel like invalid (One nobody) Face those who are much better than us in the realm of life, without thinking about it, maybe we are better than most people in many things.

The last lesson I want to tell you is our ability to resist impulse. Let’s exercise. Before we start exercising, we hardly want to do this. The temptation actually does not do this.We can actually decide to do other things Bring happiness in the short term (Case short-term happiness). Watching TV may be more Tempting (Tempting, tempting) at the moment. However, after a while, thinking that we did not do what we should do (exercise), we started to feel pain. The same can be said for the next stage. “Even today, I wasted an hour watching TV without exercising” is what we can think of. So this is the order of our emotions: positive-negative-negative.
If we don’t listen Siren (Song of the Sirens) This tempts us to watch TV instead of exercising. Once we overcome the initial psychological barriers, we will feel better during the activity (not bad in the end), and will definitely be better afterwards. So the order is: negative-neutral-positive. A more ideal combination.
As Patterson said: “Most of the things that improve mood are things we don’t want to do before: exercise, healthy eating, sleep when it’s time to go to bed, etc.” Especially in the long run, follow impulse and Become their slave (Become their slave) This is a direct path to misfortune. Impulse is especially dangerous when we are unhappy. In times of sadness, everything we do instinctively will only make the situation worse (for example, eating ice cream or fast food, not going out and seeing anyone, Be close to yourself (Retreat to yourself)). At these moments, we should adopt the following strategies (this time is true and not ironic)reaction, Which is to analyze our instincts and do exactly the opposite.

But there are many other enlightening lessons. In short, I can only recommend this book.As i told you i have See in me again (I saw me, I noticed me) Many of the strategies described in the book are reflected in my behavior.Understanding what we have done wrong in life can help us Take corrective action (Make some adjustments) And, perhaps to minimize unhappiness. Happiness, if you want, you will come by yourself like a squirrel. The important thing is not to chase it.

Thank you for listening to this episode, I hope you like it and make you want to read this book. If you like Italian podcasts, please tell other people you know who are learning Italian.Also, can you leave me a comment Apple Podcasts, this will help others like you find podcasts. Let’s talk in the next episode.

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