January brings a time of introspection for many of us, and this year I found myself abandoning a path of trying to better understand people who were completely different from me.
I discovered a subreddit called PetFree, an online community for people who don’t have pets and don’t want one. Some of them downright hate cats and dogs.
It’s only fair that people don’t like dogs. I’m fine if they even have hatred or contempt for dogs, pet parents, as long as they don’t cause harm to anyone. As difficult as it is to understand, this has been an important mini-journey for me, and I want to share with you why this is important.
why some people don’t want dogs
If you’re like me, you can’t imagine waking up without a dog. What’s it like to not have a sleepy Chihuahua stretch, sigh, and burrow into your chest again, hoping for five more minutes? Or an amazing mongrel bouncing around, greeting you excitedly, then going outside to take her first poo of the day, having fun every morning like a kid at Disneyland?
Sometimes mornings mean getting up earlier than I would like because the dog needs food and outside. Sometimes that means I have to get up and take care of them even when I’m not feeling well.
Pets bring us so much joy, but they also carry so many responsibilities.
We promise to take care of them every day. We make sacrifices. We spend money on them that could have been spent on ourselves.
Although, when I’m picking up poo, vacuuming my hair, or dealing with dogs barking, jumping, and whining, there’s no “I don’t want to do that” thought in my head.
It’s automatic, I just do those things. I don’t consider life without it. Even the roughest, most annoying, time consuming and expensive responsibilities give me a warm feeling that anything I can do for my dog ​​is very fulfilling and meaningful. I’ve been lucky enough to spend thousands of dollars on vet bills. I’m lucky to pick up poop every day because it means my loved ones are healthy, fed, and comfortable. We are so, so lucky.
If doing all of these things doesn’t make someone feel that way, then they shouldn’t be doing it. They often have other commitments in their lives, like families or kids or parents to care for, and that’s often the case with people posting on /r/Petfree.
and take care of yourself As important as caring for others is, it can also be satisfying. I also realize how difficult it is for many people to simply shower, brush their teeth or get dressed each day. Mental health issues can not only make these tasks completely impossible, but impossible.
Taking care of my dog ​​has made it easier for me to take care of myself. I know everyone is different.
why some people hate dogs
Sometimes pet parents get carried away with moralizing and anthropomorphizing their dogs. I think that’s why other people sometimes have a hard time understanding us.
My dog ​​barks at strangers. It takes them a long time to warm up to my friends, and they don’t trust easily.
Some people say that dogs are moral masters. If a dog barks at you, you must be a bad person. This is not true. Dogs bark at people who look different, smell different, and even at people they usually like to wear hats.
For someone who doesn’t like dogs but is constantly told that dogs are a beacon of character and morality – being barked by a dog must feel terrible.
To make matters worse, many people at Petfree have been bitten or attacked by animals. Some have scars, some have been disabled or disfigured, and many have trauma – we can’t pretend that dogs always happen for a reason, or that it’s always someone’s fault. They are animals, and their survival instincts can take over.
I was bitten by my dog ​​as a child and left with permanent scars. I kept yelling at me when Matilda didn’t want me to touch her food. My dogs attack each other.
Until then, humans have been hurting humans, especially people we love.
We can internalize it, or we can accept that people and animals do hurt each other, but not always for good reasons, and that violence and love are both very real and very, very incomprehensible.
People Who Don’t Have Dogs Are Totally Wrong
One thing I’ve seen people who don’t own pets say is untrue.
Some say cats and dogs don’t love us at all, they just act cute and cute because they’ve evolved as a means of survival.
We know that dogs, cats and other animals experience a surge of serotonin and dopamine when they are with their loved ones. Just like us.
Humans also benefit when we are kind to each other and seek out companionship. It is said that the first sign of civilization is a healed femur—a femur that is only possible when a loved one is healed from a fatal injury.
Yes, dogs are bred for maximum cuteness, sweet temperament, and companionship – but love is real, that’s a fact.
Why We Need to Listen to Dog “Haters”
I’m not begging anyone to drop into subreddits or otherwise find or participate in communities of people who don’t like dogs. There is no reason to do this. For those people, those are safe spaces where even if they say something that I can’t justify or understand, they’re free to do it.
The most important thing is not to take our dogs for granted. They’re great, and they enrich our lives in countless ways. But they are not morally superior to humans, and they are difficult to care for.
My dog ​​is my spiritual caretaker, but also my family member, my friend, my companion, my equal and my child.
It would mean nothing if I saw them as universally loved, perfect, perfect, useless beings.
Sometimes dogs bite people. Sometimes they eat their own children. Sometimes, they love unconditionally. For me, they are the complete package and I totally love them.
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As Matilda and Cow’s dog mom, she spends most of her days on long walks and practicing new tricks, and most evenings trying to make the most of the very modest part of her bed.
You’ll also find her baking and homemade pizza, laughing, painting and shopping.
