Ms. Blige, you were 50 years old at the beginning of the year. Is this the reason why you capture part of your life and career path in the form of a documentary?
No, the idea of this movie is not mine either. But when I was asked whether I would carry my camera with me on the royal tour celebrating the 25th anniversary of the release of my album “My Life” in 2019, I didn’t object. For most of my life, I have shared my stories and feelings with fans through my songs. Now I like to give them some more specific ideas.
You said in Mary J. Blige’s “My Life” that unless you feel successful in your heart, success is meaningless. When did you first encounter this situation?
That’s not a long time ago. Around 2016, I finally started to feel that I really deserved it and enjoyed success. I have never succeeded in truly loving myself and my hard work before. I try again and again to find out the true meaning of happiness. Satisfaction of vanity? Material things? Painful numbness? But basically, so far, I have spent my entire life learning and internalizing my value. I only succeed when I can enjoy what I have achieved.
Millions of record sales and countless number one place, fans all over the world and cabinets full of designer clothes are not helping?
These things make me more lonely, because no one can really understand or understand what I’m going through. No one can really understand my insecurity or pain. On the contrary, people lack an understanding of why the person in my position is not the happiest person ever. But if you can’t see your beauty, what’s the point of being told you are beautiful? Don’t get me wrong, I always love my fans. You have always supported me. But it wasn’t until I was able to celebrate for myself that things really changed.
What brought the turning point?
On the one hand, 2016 reached its peak in the long-term development of learning. But most importantly, my terrible marriage this year has finally come to an end. Divorce is a relief, but it also put me in a difficult position. It is so deep that I realize that if there is no self-love, I cannot get rid of it.
Your life is shaped by difficult times and traumatic experiences, from poverty to abuse to drugs. Is your song a way for you to solve this problem?
Exactly. I tried to write about the pain in my soul and turn all my thoughts and feelings into songs. This doesn’t always make it easier for me to deal with, but it’s the only thing I can do. The fact that others think it has been resolved is actually just a side effect that is not necessarily planned. To this day, I am always surprised when fans tell me how I can help them make music and maybe even save them.
