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Introduction to football, a little bit-RedState

Football is the most popular sport in the world. As we are told every time, every time some boring sports writer dusts off the university freshman globalization spell manual and writes another exciting column condemning football. Position or lack in our Gold Coast. You just don’t understand the beautiful game. To those of us who 1) still watch any type of sports 2) would rather watch baseball, football, hockey, basketball or tiddlywinks, it’s better not to involve a person who spends decades completely Too close to comfort. (Side note: I actually like watching football, even though the fun has been pretty sluggish recently considering my team’s performance in the San Jose earthquake. But I digress.)

We heard the cries of those who have suffered devastatingly because of the relative lack of popularity of football in our great land — you two — and are here to help. What, do you think everything we do all day is ruthlessly attacking the stupidity and weakness of the Awakening Agenda and its destructive policies? Destroy thoughts! Therefore, without further ado, we have shown you a handy football guide, so that next time you bring up the topic, you can speak with an authoritative person. You’re welcome.

Football as a game has existed since then…well, at some point in the 19th century, anyone knew about it. At least it is formal, with rules and Started in EnglandJust like the British Empire at the time, as people discovered the fun of participating in sports, except for a ball, a field where you can run up and down, or a few nets at both ends, you don’t have to retrieve the ball after scoring a goal in the nearest swamp. , Maybe some shoes are needed, just in case the land is a cultivated cattle pasture.

The goal of football is to score goals, and it is best to kick the ball into the goal of another team. If you kick the ball into your team’s goal, it is considered to be another team’s goal. This will cause great embarrassment to the players who do so because they will suffer from shame, humiliation and knowledge. Fall to the ground and buy beer for all teammates in the next three weeks.

There are 11 players on each side of the football game. There is a goalkeeper, and he wears a different colored jersey, so if he lets in an easily blocked shot, he won’t be easily recognized as a member of your team. There are others. Every player has a specific position, which is immediately ignored at the beginning of the game, because everyone can almost do whatever they want. Some players like to try to push the ball to the goal of another team. Some people like to try to make this process as difficult as possible. Then there is Carl, who insists that as long as his team has the ball near the opponent’s goal, he will remain on the defensive end, but strangely, he has always been close to the hot dog supplier.

Since football originated in Europe, the sport is subject to fair play, fairness, and any rules that may avoid placing large numbers on the scoreboard. For example, in a hockey game, you have a breakthrough, that is, a contest between the skater and the goalkeeper, and the best player may win, while in a football game, you can’t simply run ahead of others to make a clear shot. Instead, you must wait until Carl wipes the mustard from his mouth and returns to a position in front of his goal, and then don’t run past him. You can kick it over. Just don’t follow him. We don’t want to embarrass Karl. What he has done himself is good enough.

Football is a timed game, with two games lasting forty-five minutes. Or longer. In a football game, unlike other timing sports, the clock will stop when the game is interrupted, and the clock will continue to run no matter what happens. Then, at the end of each half, the match officials will consult their Magic 8-Ball and determine from it how many minutes of extra time should be added. This is to avoid frustrating situations, such as the St. Cliffe disaster in 1902, when a novice timekeeper mistakenly believed that he would stop timing when he was inactive on the court. As a result, he did so and the game continued.​​ 17 hours.

In a football game, only the goalkeeper can touch the ball with his hands. It is forbidden for others to touch the ball with anything from shoulders to fingertips. The preferred method of moving the ball is to kick it. Sometimes, the player will bounce the ball off his or her head to move it in the desired direction. This is called the title. Or, if it is not done properly, it can cause a concussion.

Defensive players usually try to grab the ball from offensive players or players who are simply offensive. This includes trying to step on the ball and the player’s foot, or sliding towards the ball to kick the ball away from the player. In either case, international law requires the player who has the ball to immediately fall down and twist in pain just like the person who has the ball. This situation continues until the player chasing the ball is convicted of a foul, or no one buys a fatally injured player, at which time he or she will miraculously recover and stand up again.

There are varying degrees of violations in football. Some are verbal warnings, which usually result in another team getting the ball. Serious crimes will result in the offending player being shown a yellow card by the referee. If a player is shown two yellow cards in a game, they will be ejected from the game. This is also the case if the player really crosses the line and is shown a red card. If a player is therefore exempt from the remaining games, his or her team will play the remaining games with only ten players on the field. This is called peer pressure because the expelled player will not be favored by his or her teammates. The only exception to this rule is if you and Karl are on the same team. In this case, leaving a player absent is almost standard operating procedure.

Football and baseball have one thing in common, that is, if a player is replaced, that player cannot re-enter the game. This rule is to prevent the team from giving all the best players a break and then reinserting them later in the game. Or because there are not enough showers in the locker room, some players have to start early. With the crazy amount of international football, people think this will not be a problem, but it still exists anyway.

You have it; a quick and easy guide to football. You are now completely ready to watch the Euro 2020 Championship (it is called Euro 2020 because tournament organizers never bother to buy a new calendar). Or the America’s Cup Championship. Or go to Copacabana to see if Lola is still nearby. Your call.

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