MeterIt feels like I have reached a low point I have never had before. My completed bachelor thesis is in the trash can. At that moment, for me, it was no longer a reason to be happy, but became a pile of worthless paper. My health is seriously damaged. Feet, hands, fingers, knees: all the joints of the body were fractured-and then there was a deeper pain: my girlfriend had just left me at the time. Therefore, I sat between the moving boxes in the shared apartment, feeling a failure and indulging in the thoughts of good times. It’s tempting to just indulge in self-pity. But then my coach came back to my mind.
When I walked awkwardly into the training room for the first time, I was eleven years old. Actually, I should feel safer here. Outside, I am an outsider, laughed at because of my weight, my origin, and my nature. I have almost no self-confidence. Therefore, it is decided in the country that Muay Thai should solve the “weakness” of the body and the mind.
First victory: leaving the locker room
The coach greeted me enthusiastically, but also delivered a clear message: He didn’t care who I was outside the sultry room full of sweat and fatigue. Social status or birth is not important to him. He has the same expectation for everyone: respectful interaction and commitment. Exercise shouldn’t be a burden, it should be fun and still needs a lot. In difficult times, it can provide shelter when you feel that life is slipping away. He said that here you can regain control, regain courage, and celebrate big and small victories, while elsewhere, they have been rejected. The coach felt my self-doubt at the time. He patiently guided me through the first few exercises. If it does not work immediately, I should not despair. Success requires time and the experience of victory, and it also requires failure. My first victory was when I left the locker room. This idea gave me courage and allowed me to move on.
A few years later, when I was 18 years old, an important game was about to come. At the same time, I was born to take the Abitur exam. I am very nervous. The pressure of success on both sides feels like a painful lump in the stomach. In the gym, my coach challenged me to my limit. At home, it’s time to cheer up and learn again. I wanted to give up everything more than once. But my coach yelled that I should not give up. He is not just referring to this sport. He believed me, so I persevered.
In the end, I failed to win the competition, and my high school diploma was worse than I hoped. It feels like a double failure. My coach does not want to hear anything about it. I am willing to pay any price, he told me. This is very important! He is proud of me, and I should be so.
I am today. And all the moments when he gave me almost impossible tasks. I thought about the experience of sitting on the floor many times, full of conviction, I can’t go any further, and he asked too much of me. I can still hear his hoarse barking, I should get up. It always takes time, but then I feel that I have the will not to give in. At some point, I get up again and continue in some way.
