It’s been a terrible week, and it’s only Wednesday. 😉 We had a major crash on Cheerios the other day (not kidding), but it brought us something and helped us learn and grow. I think all things, big or small, help us learn and grow in some way. It seems that the bigger the problem, the more it grows sometimes, doesn’t it?
Sam is prone to obsessive-compulsive behaviors and may be strict in his daily life unless we keep them smooth, so we are constantly reminded to confuse things. Always learning, always growing. But growth? This is difficult (hard. Seeing your child bite yourself and then cry from pain? This is hard (hard. Slapped by your child and have to sit down and try to protect his (and yourself)) safety? It is It’s so hard. It’s exhausting and emotionally exhausting. But when he calms down and his smile comes back, he comes back to us. My heart bursts with love.
During this journey of motherhood, having a child with special needs, running two businesses, at the same time going to school at home and taking care of my mental health, sometimes feels really heavy and difficult. I think this is normal and it doesn’t matter. This week, I started a new routine, I said I will always start, but this time it feels different. This time, my mentality is different. This time, I was in a better place. It’s simple: get up before the kids and make time to take care of my health, exercise first before picking up the phone and before the day begins. I am on the 2nd day and I already know where I am is the best place I have ever been. The crazy thing is that everything around me is the same. Chaos, tantrums and challenges still exist. But what changed was my internal.
This is a very difficult, chaotic and crazy period in my life, but what about mentally and emotionally? I know exactly where I want to go. I am locked in with my goal, and I know that I will succeed in this new lifestyle change. It sounds simple, but it took me a long time to get here. There is fire in my soul and I am grateful for the hard times because they brought me here, and this is where I should go.